Yesterday, I had to do one of the hardest things that I have ever done in my life. I had to put my beloved fur baby to sleep and say goodbye. The above photograph was taken about 10 minutes before her procedure. I knew it would be our last photo together, and I sense that she knew it as well. After I snapped our final selfie, I broke down. And just like the dutiful companion she has been for over a decade, she comforted me in her final moments.
Since then, I’ve been sitting with a lot of grief, trying to figure out how to hold it without letting it take me under. For the last few years, I have talked a lot about joy. Finding it. Protecting it. Holding onto it. Encouraging it. Recognizing it. Joy is important, especially now. Many of us are on the front lines of the fight against authoritarianism, fascism, and injustice. We are doing real work, and it is draining. As we work and fight, we constantly talk about protecting our peace and practicing self-care. But one of the most overlooked sources of that peace is the emotional support, love, strength, and courage we receive from our pets.
They are some of the most faithful, quiet supporters of this movement. They slow us down. They pull us outside. They make us laugh when we don’t feel like it. They sit with us when we’re tired. They love us in ways that are simple and steady, no matter what is happening in the world. Not everyone in our community has children, but many of us have fur babies or other beloved pet companions who show up every single day with love, play, and comfort. They help sustain us, and they help sustain this work.
As a child, I used to watch Touched by an Angel with my grandmother (it was a sort of millennial rights of passage lol), and I will never forget an episode where someone lost a pet and one of the angels said that having a pet teaches you to love without fear, because they will almost always leave before us and we love them anyway. That stayed with me. And now I understand it even more deeply. As a Black queer man navigating a world that often asks me to shrink, I know what it means to love without fear. Our pets teach us that every single day.
So as I try to keep my girl’s memory alive, and not lose myself to grief, I want to turn that love outward.
Introducing ONA’s Spring Campaign: Love Without Fear.
This is our way of honoring the companions who have loved us well by making space for joy, memory, and continued impact in our community. Here’s how you can be part of it. Share a photo and story of your pet, and we will lift them up on our social media through the end of May as a way of celebrating joy and honoring the companions who help carry us. Help us raise $5,000. These funds will go directly into a new microgrant program launching in June, offering up to $500 to help ONA churches connect their work beyond their walls.
Let us honor our beloved companions by acknowledging their presence and importance in our lives as we keep doing good in the world. Spring is a season of new life. It feels right to mark it this way, with memory, with tenderness, and with action.
Click here to complete a form to submit your photos and stories.
Click here to donate to this campaign to help us equip churches with new microgrants.
Let us love without fear. Let us keep going.
With gratitude and a grieving, hopeful heart,
Rev. Derek Terry, Acting Executive Director
Open and Affirming Coalition